i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
