Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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