last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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