We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
