I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize