I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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