You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
