Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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