I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize