Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
