i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How naked do you want me to be?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
