Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
