so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize