did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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