you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
