Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
