Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
