My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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