Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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