So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
