I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
