WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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