I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize