Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
