I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
