Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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