I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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