you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
