don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
