Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
