yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
