...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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