he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
