Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
