i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
