One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize