Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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