there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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