hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
