I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
