break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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