The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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