And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
