Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize