I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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