Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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