I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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