becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need water and some morals
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
