so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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