What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Houston, we have a blender
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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