Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize