I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
