i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
