You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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