I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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