just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
