why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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