they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
