R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize