you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
