I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
