2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
