is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
