You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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