At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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