you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
