Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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