My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
