we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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