I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
