Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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