We need to rekindle our bromance
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
