I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
