my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
